Why don't we all brighten our spirits and tell each other jokes? To make each other laugh? Here's my joke, related to my species!

What did the detective shark say when trying to unravel the mystery of the missing dolphin?

ANSWER: It's fishy!

Another:

Why did Homer Simpson look down the toilet?

ANSWER: He was looking for Apu!

first off those are really bad jokes, they made me groan.
Next, great idea.

What do you call a Psychic who escaped from jail???

A medium at large

Yes, I know. I'm so sad. I get told that every day by Leopard and the Third Musketeer.

What's the worst thing to say to a lion when your not telling the truth?

ANSWER: I'm lyin'.

Anyone around?

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot

Great one Katie!
Why don't you put parasetimal in a forest. Cause parrots eat em all!

where do frogs keep their money?

in the river bank

I didn't mean to suggest that you were sad.

what about this one:

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?


A collie-flower!

Hehehe! That was great, Cinders! Good one Ursrut.

What do you call your dad's sister when she's very small? An ant!

hehehe! good one marko.!

Thanks hallamorr! Why do skeletons not go to church? Cause they got no organs!

why didn't the skeleton go to the party/ he had no body to go with

Hahaha! Great!

Why do zebras like old movies? Cause they're in black and white!!!

What's the ice-cream mans favourite STAR WARS film?


Attack of the cones!

Made that all by myself!

Wats brown and sticky?

A stick!

That's great! All the ones I've done I made up. That's great as well, Luke!

why monkeys dont play poker in the jungle?
becaus there are lots of cheaters!
do you get it? cheetas turned into cheaters.

Yes, I get it.

Vaht do dogs poot een derr coffee?
Arf-n-Arf!

Did you hear that the Energizer Bunny got arrested? He was charged with battery!

Haha! I get it!

what is a cat's favorite sport?.......
PUSS UPS!

Cool!!!

what do you call a little man with a white beard,
a pointy hat and looks after my garden and his
name is gordan who looks for my pumpkin?

a GORDAN gnome!!!
insted of garden you put gordan.

Aha! Great!

do you have a joke?

This isn't much of a joke,its just a funny saying:
"I was walking across the road,and I got ran over by a milk truck,THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME THE DRINKS WERE EVER ON ME!",pretty funny,huh?.

....... i ..i dont get it.

Hutch, you got that from Garfield Gets Real, didn't you? Don't worry, I use that joke all the time too.

where do you find a cold pirate?
IN THE ARRRRTIC OCEAN!!!

COOL! There's a really fast kid but he's afraid of something. A RUNNY nose!

haha.

Sorry, that was really bad, wasn't it.

yes.

Yeah, I know. What's Buzz Lightyear's favourite type of animal. A bee!

i get it!
what is the martians favorite food?
MARTIN MALOWS!!

What's Buzz Lightyear's favourite sweeties? Milky Ways and Galaxys.

HAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
what is the alians favorite song?
NEPU-TUNES!!!!

Oh,gosh,I'm really down in the dumps. I was hoping the joke thread would chear me up. Doesn't seem to be working.

Damn it. Well, what kind do you want?

what did one piece of toilet paper say to the other?


people keep ripping me off!

a man was stranded in the ocean and a ship comes to save him but he says no no god will save me.so another ship comes and he says no no god will save me.so a third ship comes and he says no no god will save me and he ends up dying

when hes in heaven he goes up to god and says god why didnt you save me?
and god says i sent three ships but you didnt get onto any of them!

2 blind men walked into a bar.
they said ouch!

(if you didnt get the joke i meant a metel bar)

Aha! I get it, curt! Funny!

A man walks into a shop that sells watches. He goes over to some and they don't have a minute or hour hand, just a second hand. A man says, "Don't buy them. They're second hand!"

lol!

there was a smart and a dumb person watching the 9 0clock news and the smart person says i bet you £5 that that person is going to jump and die.the dumb person says ok.so he jumps and dies.

the smart person says i cheated i watched the 6 oclock news and the dumb person replies so did i but i didnt think hed jump again

thats good.
How do you keep a blonde amused for hours???
put turn over page on both sides of the page.
how do you confuse a blonde???
but them in a circle and tell them to sit in the corner.
A blonde and her friends go to a shooting range. Their names are sarah ( the blonde of the group), jodie, will and sam.
The instructor has just taught sarah to shoot. happy that she could shoot he said "fire at will" she shoot will.
okay not the newest jokes out.

lol! what a good thread!

Thank you. Those are all good.